GAS ATTACK

Hello beloved Gas Company employees. Vital and hard-working, indeed. How about signing up for a course in traffic control? I know we barely need it here in Grandview, but you guys had a full-blown NYC traffic snarl on your hands last week, didn’t you? Ever thought about working early in the morning or after everyone has arrived safely at work so that the rest of us aren’t treated to three hours of horn-honking? I also heard reports that one of your hard-hatted employees got into a hard-headed argument after backing into a civilian’s car with your Gas Company van. How about a course in parallel parking, too? We don’t want horns, fender benders – or worse. You’ve come a long way since the explosion of 1982, let’s keep your safety record in tact.